By: Tiki Bee
Okay the title speaks for itself, so I find it unnecessary to give an eloquent introduction to this article. What happened to the American gentleman? The guy who buys flowers? The one who sends Godiva chocolate covered strawberries to your job-you know the guy who cared enough about your day that he went out of his way to make it better?
Ladies, have we ran them away by not holding them up to gentleman expectations? Case in point Rhonda, a 44 year old entrepreneur who shows me a sexy photo of a half naked guy saying ,”Girl I just want to screw him…OMG he doesn’t have to do anything just give me his body”. Then she cries if he doesn’t take her out for dinner on a regular basis, or want to meet her children.
Let’s talk about Jessica a 29 year old professional who says,” I met Christopher on Face Book. He likes all of my posts, his photos are nice and he always posts positive sweet things on my page”. Then she finds out that he has befriended at least seven of her Face Book friends, hooking up with three of them and is a serial stalker.
I can’t forget Yvonne, a 35 year old author who met a guy who was temporarily unemployed causing her to pay for everything he needed or wanted. Her excuse,” Well he is getting back on his feet and I want him to feel good about himself”. Then constantly complained when he became gainfully employed, making six figures, and NEVER reciprocated any of her kind deeds.
Lusting over his body? Searching for love via Face Book? Helping him get on his feet? Come on ladies give me a break!!! Culturally I think the American man has been ruined-by us! Today women can be so eager to have a relationship that we lower our standards and forget about our needs. Why are we sacrificing our wants and desires to have a piece of a man?
I was raised in an environment where my grandfather worked hard, maintained two properties, paid all of the bills while making sure his family was secure. Upon his death bed he gathered his girls saying” You all need to find good men. (My cousin single and I divorced). Men, who are going to cherish you, take care of home and who will make sure you guys are ok, daily.”
At this time could not tell him that the era of the gentleman had ended. That I would have to go outside of my American culture to find a partner who was raised with those kind of values. Yes, I said it outside of the American culture. Men from other cultures are raised to be gentlemen, providers, and fathers…good men.
American men seem to care about ONLY themselves these days (cars, careers, sports, and friends) and want to do as little as possible to attract as well as keep the opposite sex. This would not be so disturbing ladies, if we did not allow them to treat us like door mats without expectations!
How do we do this? By:
- Accepting that he has a wife , girlfriend or dating multiple women;
- Not demanding a date night once or twice a week;
- Enabling them by totally supporting them (You’re not his mother);
- Not demanding that he court you (flowers, small gifts, getaways);
- Taking over all of the responsibilities of your children and home;
- Letting him ponder if he wants a REAL relationship or not;
I could go on and on (Not enough time). So with this being said ladies, DEVELOP a BACKBONE and require that he treats you as the queen you are! Stop being so accepting of bull crap, learn to be alone and love you. The right one will come along, I promise.
*I’ll be waiting for the hate mail from the guys.